Drabbles
by starrysunrise
Summary: HP Drabbles...various pairings include RWHG, DMGW, LEJP, HPLL, FWAJ. For amusement purposes, only. R
1. Uno

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Trust me. **

**A.N.—the following drabbles aren't ever 100 words exactly. They're just for fun, so who's counting? Enjoy!******

* * *

**The Rules of Romance**

"But…the books--"

"The books lied, Hermione. Face it."

"Ron, this is the GIRL'S dormitory. You shouldn't be here. It isn't proper. How did you even--"

"I can be brilliant when I want to be."

"_Hogwarts: A History_ clearly states that if a boy tries to go up to the girl's dormitory, an alarm will sound and the stairs will-"

"Hermione, could you just shut it for a bit and think about what I've done?"

Silence.

"It is rather romantic, I'll admit. In an unorthodox way."

"Mm."

"I think I'm going to kiss you now."

"Yes, you should."

"I can't believe you seduced me, prat!"

"Shut up, 'Mione."

**

* * *

**

**Payback**

"Ginny! It's not what it looks like…"

"OH REALLY, DEAN?"

Dean Thomas winced at his girlfriends' tone.

"I SUPPOSE," Ginny continued, "THAT LAVENDER BROWN JUST _STUMBLED _INTO YOUR PANTS? PERHAPS SHE TRIPPED OVER YOUR ABNORMALLY LARGE FEET! AND THAT IS _SO _NOT A COMPLIMENT, PERV!"

"She wasn't in my pants…more like on--"

"IT'S OVER DEAN! YOU MAKE ME SICK! Now, excuse me, I have to get back at you." Ginny spun on her heel.

"What? How??"

"I'm going to…snog the first guy I see!" She declared over her shoulder angrily.

Ginny turned back around, only to find herself looking—

Directly into the cold, gray eyes of Draco Malfoy.

He smirked.

* * *

**Kiss me, I'm Irish**

"Lily, I love you. You know that, right?"

Lily raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend.

"What did you do, James?"

"Nothing!" He squeaked, darting his eyes away from her hair.

"Because that isn't at ALL suspicious." She drawled.

"Just…don't look in the mirror for a bit." James said.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because, because."

"YOU ARE SO CHILDISH!" Lily irritably whipped out her compact and shrieked.

"Now, Lily-flower, calm down. It was an accident. I swear."

"MY HAIR IS BLOODY NEON GREEN, POTTER! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! FIX IT!"

"Can't."

"POTTER!"

"It's a St. Patrick's Day prank. Padfoot was going to use it on someone else, but you got in the way. The only way to reverse it is to…"

"What?"

"Snog someone who's part-Irish." He laughed.

"You better hope to Merlin that you're Irish, Potter."

"Sorry. Can't help you."

"I hate you."

"Love you too, my emerald haired sweet."

"You do realize," Lily smirked, "that Sirius is part-Irish."

James' grin dropped immediately.

"I do hear around the dormitory that he's quite the AMAZING snog…" She said thoughtfully, or evilly, in James' opinion.

"But—you're MY girlfriend."

"So it seems."

"He's my BEST mate."

"Better him than Snape. I have to snog SOMEONE. Oh SIR-I-US!" She called in a sing-song voice.


	2. Dos

**Bittersweet**

_(Fred's POV—scene from Goblet of Fire, page 394, tweaked a little)_

"Want to come to the ball with me?" I called to her from across the common room.

This is it. The moment of truth. I know it seems like I'm only asking Angelina spontaneously to make Ickle-Ronnikins feel like a fool (what I do best) but, really, I've wanted to do this for the past six years. Ever since I laid eyes on the gorgeous creature called Angelina Johnson, Quidditch goddess. Some call it obsession, I call it pure love.

Damn, maybe this was a bad idea. I should have thought about it more. Stupid, stupid.

She's cocking her head to the side, blushing.

"Are you Fred or George?"

Bloody hell.

* * *

**Love Declarations in Letters**

Dear Ron,

I love you so much it hurts sometimes. There, I've said it. I hate how you STILL haven't opened your eyes and figured as much. I need you, but I can't understand why. You're not my type at all. Sometimes I feel like strangling you. Other times, I have to restrain myself from snogging the life out of you.

These feelings are scary, and they won't go away. Everyone but you seems to know how I feel--I thought you ought to. I can't pretend to be merely your friend any longer, Ron. Think about it.

Happy Valentine's Day,

Hermione

* * *

Hermione—

Ditto.

— Ron


	3. Tres

**An…er…_Indecent_ Proposal**

James got out of his chair and knelt down in front of Lily. Several couples around them in the restaurant watched as he took his hands in hers.

Lily immediately got misty-eyed.

"Lily," James started, "You're everything to me. You're the light of my life, and my reason for living every day. I know we used to hate each others' guts back in school…you were the receiver of many pranks from the Marauders…I'm not going to say that I'm sorry for doing those, though, 'cause they were bloody brilliant, especially that one time--"

Lily cleared her throat subtlety to get him back on track.

"Yes, right," James grinned, "But, despite all that, you somehow became my soul mate, my lover, but most importantly, my best friend. Well…besides Padfoot. You're a very close second. But I'm not saying the 'lover' thing isn't important too. The sex is always _very_ good and much anticipated--"

Lily's face flamed.

"Anyways, what I'm trying to say here, Lils, is…I love you. Will you marry me?" James grinned, extracting the diamond engagement ring from his pocket and holding it in front of her.

Lily laughed through her tears.

"Of course I will, you ninny."

* * *

**Harry's _Real_ First Kiss**

_(Harry's POV—scene from Order of the __Phoenix__, page 452-3, different outcome)_

I had just gotten down the last of the awful decorations Dobby put up in the Room of Requirement when Luna Lovegood walked in. She was looking as nutters as ever, commenting vaguely about the decorations.

"Mistletoe." She said dreamily.

I realized there was some right above my head.

_Merlin…under the mistletoe with...'Loony' Lovegood?_

I instinctively moved from under it, which got her talking about nargle infestation in a very matter-of-fact tone.

_What WAS she talking about? _

Suddenly, it didn't matter so much anymore. Her stringy blonde hair transformed into a golden blanket framing her face in the candlelight. Her eyes sparkled in confusion.

"Harry, are you all right?"

I must have been staring.

Before I could stop myself, I had my arms around Luna and was kissing her. I don't know what came over me. It just felt…right. And she was turning out to be quite responsive. Oh, this was very, VERY good.

I pulled back and looked into her eyes. They were still their usual dreaminess, but in a different way. She smiled at me.

For once in my life, I felt like I really, truly mattered.

She pulled me down for another go.

I was _not_ objecting.


	4. Cuatro

**There Had BETTER be an Explanation for this…**

"HARRY POTTER, WHEN WILL YOU GET A BLOODY CLUE?!" Ginny spun on her heel and stormed up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. Harry froze for a second, and then ran after her.

"Ginny! Wait! I didn't mean--"

The minute he set foot on the stairs, they turned into a giant stone slide. He had forgotten about those god-awful death-traps.

Ginny screamed as she slid down on her stomach.

Before Harry could think to move, he somehow found himself knocked down on his back with Ginny in a very compromising position.

Ginny had settled herself nicely straddling his torso.

Ginny's skirt was completely rolled up, exposing her knickers. His hair was being more unruly than usual, giving Harry a devilishly sexy look about him.

Both of their eyes went wide.

Both of their faces went impossibly red.

Both of their lips were drawing closer to each other by an invisible force…

Soon, Ginny couldn't even remember anymore why she was so mad at him.

* * *

**The Slytherin Sex God?**

_How am I going to pull this off?!? _Ginny thought desperately as she strode through the dark corridor under the Invisibility cloak.

The night had started off as a normal, Gryffindor Girls Night. Painting each others' nails, gossiping, flipping through _Witch Weekly_, giggling. Until Lavender suggested the inevitable game—

Truth or Dare.

Ginny was now on a rather _daring _quest to find the answer to the question on everybody's minds—

Draco Malfoy: Boxers or Briefs?

Hermione had "borrowed" the cloak, and then Ginny was pushed out of the common room before she could object.

_How can I get into the Slytherin dorms without a password, anyway? AND get proof that I was there?!?_

This turning out to be quite literally impossible.

Until Fate decided to be cruel and full of irony.

Guess who else just HAPPENED to be out for a midnight stroll?

In white cotton boxers with little red hearts on them that _actually_ lit up?

They were just _so _MANLY, absolutely REEKING of Slytherin Sex God-iness.

Ginny smirked.


	5. Cinco

**Ron's First Time**

"Hermione, I've never…I mean, I haven't--"

"Hush, Ron, I know. Don't worry, it's easy."

"How do I get it to, you know…work?"

"Well, start off by sticking _that _into _there. _It's not as scary as it seems. Trust me, I've done this LOADS of times. Just be careful when you put it in…you don't want to force it, or it might break!"

"Maybe you should--"

"No, Ron, you have to learn how to do this yourself!"

"So, will this be worth it?"

"Oh yeah. The best part is right at the end…it's amazing!"

Ron grinned, sticking the DVD into the player. It was _The Matrix. _He sat back down with Hermione, proud at his accomplishment. At least he didn't blow anything up, like the microwave incident from last summer. His first attempt with a Muggle DVD player wasn't so bad.

* * *

**The One**

"Moony, I think this one is THE One!" Sirius announced dramatically, draping himself all over the sofa.

"She's PERFECT for me!"

"Mmm." was the reply

"I'm SERIOUS, Moony!"

Remus glanced up from his book. "If you even THINK about using that bloody pun _one more time…_"

"Chill, mate, I won't. But, truly, Rachel is perfect. She's hot, funny, sweet…kind of smart…sort of nice…and has a FANTASTIC arse. She is DEFINITELY The One."

"Padfoot, need I remind you that you also said those exact words about Samantha, Bonnie, Emma, Ali--"

"Moony--"

"—Rita, Jennifer, Tanya--"

"Moony!"

"--Brenda, Monica, Lillian--"

"MOONY! SHUT UP!"

"--and Angela." Remus finished. "And, you do realize, Padfoot, that settling down with one woman means that you can only shag _he_r for the rest of your life. No more flings, no more one night stands, no more hitting on anything with nice legs…"

Remus chuckled to himself. "In other words, the day that Sirius Black settles down will be the end of the world as we know it."

Sirius grimaced.

"Er, yeah, maybe I'll go dump Rachel now."

"I thought so. You're entirely too predictable, old friend."

* * *

**Nice Save, James**

_(A follow-up, of sorts, to "An…er…Indecent Proposal" from chapter 3 of this collection of drabbles.)_

"James, I'm pregnant."

James didn't move at all. He wasn't breathing or blinking. Lily was getting worried, with a touch of irritation.

"James? Sweetie?"

"You…you…baby…you…_fat_…Merlin…kid…Oh god…"

James was hardly ready for coherent speech at the moment.

"Yes, James, we're going to have a baby. Well, I'm going to have the baby, you are just going to sit around and do nothing, yet SOMEHOW get some of the CREDIT…" Lily stopped herself before she went into total ranting.

James kept staring at her.

Lily tapped her fingers on the chair in impatience.

After a few seconds of silence, her face contorted in anger. "Wait, James. DID YOU JUST CALL ME _FAT?!_"

James snapped out of his trance immediately. He grinned widely. "You're having a baby! I'm gonna be a daddy!!!!" He pulled Lily into an enthusiastic hug, jumping around and everything.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Nice save, James."


	6. Seis

**Breakfast**

Alicia Spinnet was furious.

Her boyfriend of a year, George Weasley, had spent the night at her flat. He said he would cook her breakfast in the morning (this time, he promised, the bacon wouldn't start dancing). Then they were to spend a lovely entire day off, in bed, relaxing or…something.

Alicia had instead woken up, shivering, with an absence of a warm, male body to curl up to.

She stormed determinedly into Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, slamming the door shut behind her.

She spotted him behind the counter.

"You ditched me to _WORK_?!" she screeched at her boyfriend.

"Um, Alicia--" the redhead said nervously.

"No! You listen!" She grabbed him by his collar and yanked his face down to her eye level. "You promised to make me bacon! We were going to spend the day in bed, most likely have repeated mind-blowing shags, but no! I woke up alone and hungry! You promised, George!"

"Ali, I'm--"

"I'll have to ask you to unhand my brother, Ali," a voice said from behind her, laughing.

Alicia spun around to come face to face with…

…George. Her boyfriend.

She let go of Fred.

"Oops."

* * *

**Girl Talk**

Lavender Brown is painting my toenails.

Good lord.

I can't believe I consented to something like this.

Oh, that's right, BECAUSE I BLOODY DIDN'T!

They attacked me with their nail polish and hairspray and, eek!, _eyelash curlers_. Ever since they saw me at the Yule Ball (that was a once in a lifetime thing! I wanted to make it a little special…) they've been eager to have me look like that _every day. _

I don't have time for that. _I _want to pass my O.W.L.s with flying colors. _They _seem determined to fail them, but with stylish hair.

It surprised me a great deal that they were doing everything the Muggle way. According to Parvati, most of them are horrid at beauty spells. Plus, doing things this way allowed for more girl talk.

I may be a girl, but I don't do girl talk. I like to study! My two best friends are boys!! Sure, sometimes they get annoying with their incessant Quidditch chatter, but at least they don't attack me with blush!!

At one point during this fiasco, I finally gave up. Let them have their fun by making me over. I can just wash the caked mess off my face later.

And maybe if I'm lucky, I won't have to participate in this girl talk.

"So, Hermione," some random 3rd year Gryffindor addressed me, "who do you think is cuter: Harry or Ron?"

Oh hell.

* * *

**Meet My Parents**

"Erm…Mother, Father, this is my wife, Ginny," Draco Malfoy introduced nervously.

The redhead was doing a good job of hiding her fear so far, smiling pleasantly and holding out her hand to each of the elder Malfoys. Narcissa pulled her into a brief hug, and Lucius settled with kissing her knuckles.

Ginny was well aware that they were just being polite. It wouldn't do for them to throw her out of the Manor. She _was_ a Malfoy now, after all.

"So very nice to finally meet the young witch who has stolen Draco's heart," Lucius gave Draco a pointed look, "even if it _is _after she's already married to him."

Draco blushed slightly. The way he figured things was that if they were already married, his parents would have to accept her. There was no divorce in the wizarding world.

"I'm terribly sorry about that, Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy," Ginny began, "but Draco and I just couldn't wait any longer, so we decided to elope."

"I think it's lovely," Narcissa remarked in a forced sort of tone.

"Quite," Lucius agreed civilly.

Ginny sighed. This was going to be a long afternoon.

After several minutes of uncomfortable conversation in the parlor, the house elves brought the foursome their tea.

Lucius spoke up again.

"Now, we'll be expecting a new Malfoy heir very soon, is that correct?"

Draco spit out his tea in alarm. His eyes bulged out at his wife.

Ginny bit her lip, a small, guilty grin on her face.


End file.
